


Repetition

by ParvumAutomaton



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Coma, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Possession, mental traps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25396642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParvumAutomaton/pseuds/ParvumAutomaton
Summary: The dark armor is a trap, designed to ensnare it’s host both physically and mentally. Unfortunately for it, the trap was only ever designed to hold one person, not two turtles, however that doesn’t mean that it’s going to let them go without a fight.This story is based on/a continuation of the excellent comic made by omgiamwish which was inspired by a post by davids-cartoon-corkboard (formerly david-yells-about-cartoons)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 145





	1. Repeat

**Author's Note:**

> Omgiamwish’s comic is located here https://omgiamwish.tumblr.com/post/189797786894/shredderraph-au-this-took-me-a-month-and-im
> 
> I also want to thank Scarabae for taking the time to do a brainstorming session with me when I got stuck. And Tek for providing feedback when I debating the best way to start this chapter.

“Hey buddy, how’s it going?”

Donnie sighed and looked up at Raphael, he kept his goggles firmly in place.

“Progress would be faster, if you didn’t keep pestering me about it.”

Raph looked down at the parts spread out on Donnie’s workbench.

“Right sorry,” He said, rubbing the back of his neck, “I didn’t know your battleshell needed work.”

“You know,” Donnie said, shrugging. “You can always improve. It’s one of Ebbinghaus’s fundamental laws.”

Raph walked to the door. “Ok, just don’t forget about lunch. Mikey’s cooking.” 

“I’ll come when he calls,” Donnie said. “Promise.” 

Raph moved from Donnie’s lab to the kitchen. He leaned over and eyed the large pot Mikey had placed on the stove.

“How’s lunch coming, big man?”

Mikey shooed him away from the pot. “You know what they say. A watched pot never boils.”

“Right sorry. So what are you making?”

MIkey shrugged. “It’ll be what it will be, Raph.”

“Ohhh chief surprise,” Raph said, grinning. “My favorite.” 

Mikey returned his smile. “I’ll give you a call when it’s done.”

Raph moved from the kitchen to the center of the lair. Leo sat alone on his skateboard at the bottom of the ramp.

“How’s it going champ?”

Leo looked up at him. He then sighed and laid back down on his skateboard.

“I want to go out,” he said.

Raph sighed. “Mikey’s making us lunch right now. It would be rude to leave.”

Leo didn’t look at him. “We need to leave.”

“And we can,” Raph said. “After lunch.”

Leo groaned.

“I’m tired of waiting for lunch.” 

Raph moved from the center of the lair to Donnie’s Lab. Donnie sat at his work bench lit up by the light of his tools.

“So how’s the battle shell coming?”

“Progress would be faster, if you didn’t keep pestering me about it.” Donnie grumbled without looking up.

Raph grimaced. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to be a supportive brother but I guess I’m not.”

Donnie looked up at him and gave a slight grin. “You know, you can always improve. It’s one of Ebbinghaus’s fundamental laws.”

“Right,” Raph said. “Oh, and don’t forget that Mikey is cooking.” 

Donnie nodded. “I’ll come when he calls, promise.” 

Raph moved from Donnie’s lab to the kitchen. He leaned against the counter watching Mikey cook.

“So, when do you think lunch will be ready?”

Mikey glared at him. “You know what they say. A watched pot never boils.”

Raph shrugged. “Sorry I’m not trying to rush you. It’s just, Leo’s getting a bit impatient.”

“It’ll be what it will be, Raph.” Mikey said turning away and picking up ingredients.

“I’ll let him know.” Raph said, and Mikey smiled knowingly.

“I’ll give you a call when it’s done,” he said.

Raph moved from the kitchen to the center of the lair. Leo stood in front of the entrance to his room.

“I’m going out,” he said, not bothering to turn to face Raph, “with or without you.”

Leo stepped forward, grabbing the curtain of his bedroom. He flung the cloth aside, and then pulled his arm back curling around it.

Raph swore he saw three deep gashes from shoulder to elbow.

He blinked. Leo was still curled over his arm. But there was no blood. 

There were no gashes.

“Are you alright?” Raph asked, putting an arm around his shell.

Leo flinched. He pulled away, twisting to look at Raph, with his eyes wide and breaths shallow. 

He met Raph’s eyes, took a deep breath, and relaxed back into his brother. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, just was a bit surprised. That’s all.” He said, gripping Raph’s hand. “I’m going to try again.”

Raph rubbed his shell. “Wait until after lunch.”

Leo dropped Raph’s hand.

Raph moved from the center of the lair to Donnie’s Lab. The battle shell sat off to one side and a section of the turtle tank sat in front of Donnie.

“New project?” Raph asked with a smile. “How’s it going?”

“Progress would be faster,” Donnie said tapping the metal in front of him. “If you didn’t keep pestering me about it.”

“Right, right,” Raph said. “So adding some more pizazz to the tank? I didn’t know it needed any more.”

“You know, you can always improve.” Donnie said with a flourish. “It’s one of Ebbinghaus’s fundamental laws.”

Raph shrugged. “Of course it is. Just don’t forget about lunch.”

“I’ll come when he calls, promise.” Donnie said, giving him a quick thumbs up. 

Raph moved from Donnie’s lab to the kitchen. He watched as Mikey pulled out a pot and filled it with water.

“You mind if I watch you cook?” Raph asked.

“You know what they say.” Mikey launched, spinning the full pot before placing it on the stove. “A watched pot never boils.”

“So that’s a no then?”

Mikey shook his head. “It’ll be what it will be, Raph.” 

“Alright, just give me a call if you need me.” Raph said.

Mikey narrowed his eyes at Raph.

“I’ll give you a call when it’s done,” he said.

Leo screamed.

Raph raced from the kitchen to the center of the lair.

Leo lay on the bottom of the skate ramp, breathing hard and covered in small bleeding pinpricks. They made small rectangular patterns spread randomly over his body.

Raph raced to his side. He pulled him into a sitting position and rubbed his shell.

“Are you ok?” Raph asked.

“I’m fine.” Leo said without looking at him. “I’m going to try again.”

“Wait,” Raph said, grabbing Leo’s arm. “Let’s have lunch first and then we can all go together.”

Leo yanked his arm from Raph’s grasp.

“We are never going to have lunch,” he hissed.

“Um, yes we are, Mikey’s cooking it now.”

Leo rubbed his face and sighed.

“It will never get done, Raph.”

Raph crossed his arms. “I’m pretty sure that’s not how time works, Leo.” 

Leo stopped and looked him over.

“I know,” he said, grabbing both of Raph’s shoulders and leaning into his plastron. “But lunch will never come, Raph, it just won’t.”

“Ok,” Raph said. “Let me tell them, and then we’ll go together.”

Leo grabbed his hand and shook his head. But Raph gently pulled away.

“I’ll be right back,” He promised.

Raph moved from the center of the lair to Donnie’s Lab. Donnie walked around the section of turtle tank examining it.

“I’m going to be heading out with Leo, call me if you need anything.” Raph said.

Donnie nodded. “Progress would be faster, if you didn’t keep pestering me about it.” 

Raph stepped closer. “I don’t think you heard me. I’ll be leaving the lair with Leo.”

“You know, you can always improve.” Donnie said, giving him a thumbs up. “It’s one of Ebbinghaus’s fundamental laws.”

“Right, well,” Raph said, raising his voice. “Give us a call if you need anything.” 

“I’ll come when he calls,” Donnie said, turning back to his project. “Promise.” 

Raph moved from Donnie’s lab to the kitchen. Mikey was stirring a large pot on the stove.

“Hey Mikey?” Raph said. “Leo and I are going to be leaving the lair. Give us a call if you need anything.”

Mike gave him a nod. “You know what they say. A watched pot never boils.”

“Um Mikey,” Raph said gently. “Are you feeling ok?”

Mikey waved him off. “It’ll be what it will be, Raph.” 

Leo screamed.

Raph raced out of the kitchen. Mikey’s ‘I’ll give you a call when it’s done.’ fading into the background.

Leo was walking into his room again. With each step forward wounds opened up but didn’t bleed. Leo’s arm fell limp by his side. Leo’s leg dragged with each step. But he kept walking.

Then Raph saw them. Metallic snakes with glowing red eyes. They twisted and writhed in place of the room’s furniture, and in place of the room’s walls.

With each step that Leo took the snakes shot forward and latched their jaws onto him. They pulled him backwards and Raph could see Leo losing ground. 

So he did what any brother would do in that situation. He leapt behind Leo and punched a snake.

Leo stumbled forward, catching himself with his only working arm. He looked back, over his shoulder, eyes meeting Raph’s, and smiled. Blood was running down his face from where a snake had latched on, but he was smiling and speaking words Raph couldn’t hear.

Raph punched more snakes.

Leo pushed himself forward and grabbed onto something Raph couldn’t see. His shoulders heaved from screaming words Raph couldn’t hear. His feet slipped across the ground struggling for purchase.

Raph punched more metallic snakes.

But for each snake he took down, even more took its place. 

And Leo lost steam.

He pitched forward, falling limp as the snakes flung him out of his room.

Raph caught him. And he watched as the wounds covering Leo’s body faded. They didn’t close or scar over, they simply ceased to exist. The dots from the snake bites took the longest.

“Raph.” Leo breathed.

“Yeah?”

“That’s the farthest I’ve ever gotten.”

Raph let himself grin as Leo rested his head against his plastron.

“Punching the snakes seemed to help.” Raph said.

Leo nodded against him.

“So maybe if we get Donnie and Mikey’s help-”

“We can’t.”

“Why not?” Raph asked. “We just need to get them to wake up, like you got me to wake up.”

“Raph,” Leo said softly, pushing himself up to look him in the eye. “They aren’t here.”

“Yes they are. Don’s in his lab, and Mikey’s in the kitchen.”

“No they aren’t Raph. Those turtles up there aren’t real. They aren’t our brothers.”

Raph’s eyes narrowed. “Then where are our brothers?”

“Somewhere safe.”

“And where are we?”

“Somewhere else.” Leo gently held Raph’s shoulder. “What do you remember?”

An alleyway. The Dark Armor. Leo.

Raph breath caught.

“I hurt you.”

“No,” Leo said firmly, “Shredder did.”

“But-”

“Shredder did.”

Raph looked at his younger brother. He looked tired and scared. But he set his jaw and squared his shoulders, daring Raph to argue with him on this. Raph didn’t argue. He just pulled his brother into a hug and held him. He didn’t say anything when he felt hot tears on his plastron. He just held Leo and rubbed his shell.

“I’m so glad to have you back.” Leo whispered.

“Yeah, but now we have to get out of here.”

“No,” Leo said firmly, pushing back to look at Raph. “you have to get out of here.”

“I’m not leaving you.” 

“I’m not asking you to.” Leo looked around. “I think we mind melded. And because you are trapped in the armor, we both are.”

“So if I can get the armor off. It’ll free us both?”

“That’s my assumption.”

Raph deflated. “We already tried that. It didn’t work so well.”

“Then we try again.” Leo said, forcing a smile and pulling his odachi out of thin air. “Besides this time I’ve got your back against Shreddy.”

Leo held out a hand. “Trust me?”

“Always.” Raph said taking it.

Raph stood, pounded his fists together once, and marched straight towards the room Leo was just thrown out of. He entered it. And was surrounded by Leo’s posters and action figures.

“Hey buddy,” Leo called, “You probably want to enter your own room.”

Raph laughed and backed out of Leo’s room. “Right that makes sense.”

“More sense than my room randomly being the lair exit.”

“Alright,” Raph pounded his fists together again. “Let’s do this.” 

Raph raced towards his room. Leo followed behind him, odachi gleaming.

“Hot Soup!”

Raph rushed into what should have been his room. It should have housed his bed and all of his teddy bears. Instead it was a whirlwind of metallic snakes. The second he entered they lunged for him, clinging to his arm, his shell, trying desperately to drag him backwards. And for a second he felt his foot slip.

Leo’s blade sung.

Raph stumbled forward. He spared a glance back at Leo and was pleased to see that his wounds had not reappeared and that the snakes were not attacking him.

“Go!”

Raph nodded and turned back towards the snakes. It was slow going, but he never lost ground.

“Snakes,” He heard Leo quote behind him, “why did it ha-”

Raph wasn’t in the lair anymore. He wasn’t surrounded by the snakes anymore, although he could still feel their teeth in his skin pulling him backwards. It was painful just to exist. 

But he knew Leo was behind him, granting him the freedom that he currently had. He couldn’t waste it.

It was dark in the room where he was, and it was dark outside of it as well. Slowly, both out of ninja caution, and due to the fact it felt like he was trying to move through mud Raph grabbed the right gauntlet in his left hand and pulled.

The snakes coiled around him, fighting with a vengeance. But each bite only pulled for a second before going slack. 

Leo had his back. And Raph had his right hand freed. 

One free hand made it easier to have a second free hand.

A second free hand made it easier to rip off a section of the armor from his waist.

And a hole in the armor there made it easier to grab his tonfa and activate his mystic power. 

Raph took off running at full speed and full height. He used both astral hands to rip the armor from his body and fling it across New York city. He didn’t care where it went, where he went as long as they were to different places. He didn’t stop until he had removed the last piece, the helmet, from his head.

He didn’t throw that piece. The foot put his city, his brothers, in danger, they wouldn’t get their hands on the completed armor so easily. He’d get Leo to portal it across the world, or into space, when he saw him again. But for now he needed to return to the lair and regroup.

Raph entered the sewers with ease. He could hear comoation in the city above him. That chaos should hide his trail, at least he hoped so.

When Raph entered the lair he became aware of two things. The first was they he didn’t, and hadn’t for a while, felt the pull of the snakes. The second was that the lair was still. 

It wasn’t quiet. The splash screen of a dvd played on loop. Some invention of Donnie’s constantly buzzed. Water dripped from a faucet.

But nothing in the lair moved. It was completely abandoned.

Raph fished out his cellphone from his belt. Thankful his capture and escape hadn’t destroyed it. 

He called the number of a voice he desperately wanted to hear. 

The phone on the other line rang. Once. Twice.

Raph held his breath just waiting.

“Sup, this is Neon Leon. Or well, this is his phone-”

Raph hung up and called again. And again only voicemail answered.

He called again.

“Raph?” The voice that answered sounded worn, but they seemed to be holding their breath hopefully. 

And while he was relieved to hear the voice of one of his brothers. That voice belonged to Donatello, and not Leonardo.


	2. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences are revealed. 
> 
> Or.
> 
> Raph does not get much good news.

Raph scowled. Their medical cabinet was bare. Bath towels and washcloths, gone. There weren’t even any handtowls in the kitchen. 

“How exactly did you cut your hands again?” Donnie’s voice crackled over the phone.

Raph shifted his shoulder, getting a better angle for holding the phone to his ear.

“Ripping apart the Shredder armor, I assume.” He said. He didn’t actually remember getting cut. But then again, he didn’t remember much about his escape other than the adrenaline.

“You ripped apart the Shredder?” Donnie asked in a low voice. “He’s not a threat anymore?”

Raph bit back his first response. That of course he wasn’t a threat anymore, you’re talking to me, because Donnie of all turtles should have realized that. There was only one reason that he wouldn’t. And that would be if he didn’t know that the armor possessed Raph. But he had to have known. Leo definitely would have told him, he wouldn’t keep something like that a secret unless-

Unless he had a very good reason to.

Raph’s heart sank but he leaned into Leo’s serious assertion. Raph didn’t attack him, Shredder did. They were two different people.

“Yeah, he’s not a threat any more.” Raph said slowly. “I kept the helmet too, so that they can’t just put him back together again.”

“Good.” Donnie laughed, sniffled, took a deep shuddering breath, and laughed again. “Best news I’ve heard all day. It will also make Mikey, April, and Dad’s job easier.”

“Their job?” Raph asked. 

He adjusted the phone against his ear again, looking closely at his hands. Not only were they torn up, but his wrappings were also dangling by a few threads. He’d have to replace them as well.

“They are on their way back to New York to rescue you.” Donnie swallowed a laugh. “It appears that they will be nothing more than a glorified taxi service.”

“I could use a taxi right now.” Raph said, his eyes going wide. Of course he could use his spare wrappings for his injuries, two birds one stone. “So where exactly are you?”

“Northampton, or nearby it at least. I rented a farmhouse with a bunch of land around it. It is amazing what you can do over the internet these days.”

“Yeah,” Raph agreed as he focused on his hands. He had plenty of experience wrapping them and he just needed a little more pressure. The cuts were mostly superficial, even if they were starting to sting.

“Did you find something to use on your hands?”

“Yeah.”

“Good so if you’re not bleeding over everything you touch, could you grab some things for me? We had to leave in a rush last time.”

Raph followed Donnie’s directions as he grabbed supplies he didn’t know the name of from Don’s Lab. He waited patiently as Donnie called the former rescue party and got their supplies. Mikey wanted some of his cooking supplies and his paints. April had him pick up one of her travel bags she had stashed at the lair in case of late nights turning into overnight stays. Splinter didn’t ask for anything, but he did beg Raph to throw out all of the food in their refrigerator. 

Raph obliged. Stacking everyone’s boxes in the tank garage. And putting the Shredder helmet, now looking like their old skelly teapot again, in another box.

“Does Leo want me to grab anything?” Raph asked.

Donnies teeth audibly clicked together. 

“He’s not awake right now.” Don whispered.

Raph glanced at a clock in the lair. “It is late. I’ll just grab some of his comic books. I bet he’d appreciate those.”

Silence stretched out on the other end of the line. But eventually Donnie agreed in a soft voice.

“He probably would.”

Raph grabbed a box from Leo’s room. His real room this time, not the fake one filled with evil snakes. It was half full of Jupiter Jim comics, the other half held a random assortment of titles that Leo had picked up along the way.

“Raph listen I-” Donnie fell silent. “I don’t-”

“What is it Don?”

“Can you just stay on the line with me until the others get there?”

“Sure,” Raph said, allowing himself to smile. “I am going to put you on speaker while I wait though.”

“Sure.” Donnie said and let the line lapse into an easy silence.

Raph pulled his phone from his shoulder and wiped the smudged bloody fingerprints he had left on it. He just needed to pass some time until his family got there. He also needed to know what exactly he had been up to while trapped in that mental prison.

What exactly the Shredder had been up to.

As he scrolled through recent stories, there were no obvious news articles about the Shredder. Not like there had been last time when the armor went feral. But that didn’t mean he didn’t do anything. That just meant that the Foot clan had been sneaky about it.

A ninja being sneaky. Based on who he lived with, that was practically unheard of.

Raph let himself grin and searched for things that the Foot clan previously did. And when he searched ‘paper thieves’ he found what he was looking for. There had been a string of paper store robberies. And one of the images included in the article was an empty pallet. It was meant to show how the paper was just gone. But Raph’s eyes went right to the three deep punctures made in the wood.

It was grabbed by the Shredder’s hand

Just like he had grabbed Leo by the back of his shell. He’d felt his two fingers dig into the soft skin at the back of Leo’s neck, and his thumb skitter along his shell. Those wounds would be right at the juncture where skin joined with shell. Raph knew they were going to be really annoying while healing. Bandages wouldn’t stick well unless Leo kept very still. 

And sure, Raph had never gotten an injury there, but Mikey had. Somehow while practicing a flip, something went horribly wrong and Mikey managed to give himself a scrape there. That lead to a solid week of complaints about how badly it itched and how annoying it was not to be able to completely retreat into his shell. 

It was a good thing Leo didn’t really retreat into his shell. So he should be fine while it healed.

“Raph?” Donnie’s voice crackled over the phone “Hey buddy?”

“Yeah?”

“You zoned out for a minute there.” Donnie said. “Everything ok?”

Raph smiled and wiped at his face. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

“Good,” Donnie said. “Mikey, April, and Pops should be arriving any minute.”

True to his word the garage sprang to life, and a beat up but unremarkable van drove up.

“They’re here.” Raph said.

“Good. Um look Raph I need to -”

Raph kept his eyes on the van and waited after Donnie fell silent.

“Yeah?”

“Nevermind. I’m just glad you’re ok.”

Raph was tackled by Mikey before he could press further. Mikey squeezed him tightly, hands clutching at Raph’s spikes.

“I am so glad you’re back” Mikey whispered into the crook of Raph’s neck.

“I’m glad to be back too buddy.”

Raph returned the hug. He felt both April and Splinter join in for a few blissful seconds.

April pulled away first.

“I think we have everything in the van,” she said. “We should go.”

Raph reluctantly let go and entered the cleared out, and blacked out, rear of the van. 

“The Foot?” He asked.

“Something like that.” April said.

“Have they been active?”

April looked at Splinter. Splinter narrowed his eyes, slamming the van door after he and Mikey entered.

“They’ve done enough. And I do not intend to give them the opportunity to do more.”

April put the van into drive and floored it away from the lair.

“You know,” Raph said, pulling out the box Donnie hadn’t asked him to pack. “They might find their plans a bit delayed.”

He opened the box and handed old skully, which was still covered in Raph’s bloody handprints, to Splinter. Splinter took the piece of the dark armor. His hand lingered over the dried blood. 

He hesitated for only a second before narrowing his eyes and nodding. He didn’t look at the armor when he replaced it in the box.

“You did good, my son.”

Mikey looked from the box to Splinter and back. “Didn’t you say-”

“I say a lot of things.” Splinter said, cutting Mikey off and holding Raph’s hand in both of his own. “But the only thing that matters now is that Red did good.”

Mikey took a deep breath. He looked from Raph to the box and back to Raph. 

“Yeah you did.” He said, curling up against Raph’s plastron.

Raph looped both arms around his little brother, and looked at the screen of his phone over Mikey’s head.

It didn’t take much scrolling for more news articles to catch Raph’s eye. There was another string of robberies. These focused on sword and knife shops. There was nothing in the story relating it to the paper robberies, but Raph knew better. He could see the three gouges ripped into the brick of the store on the included photo. They were made by his, by the Shredder’s gauntlets. He’d seen how much damage that they did when he- no, when Shredder raked them across Leo’s arm. The memory of feeling his brother’s flesh just giving way under his fingers was something he wished he didn’t have.

Leo was going to have to be careful with gashes that cut deep into muscle. He knew because Donnie had something similar once. A slip in the junkyard that freaked them all out. Donnie later claimed that healing from that was one of the most frustrating times of his life, he needed two hands for both his bo and tinkering. And that incident led directly to the development of his spider shell. He never wanted to deal with that again.

But Leo was ambidextrous. He’d be fine, even down an arm. Hell, he’d probably start making puns about being all right. By now, Raph wouldn’t be surprised if Donnie had let Leo borrow the spider shell just to stop the puns. Still, Raph would be glad to hear them.

Really, really glad to hear them.

Mikey poked him.

“Huh?”

“You’re shaking.” Mikey said, shifting to look up at Raph. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” Raph said, blinking hard and taking a deep breath. “Yeah I’m fine.”

Mikey curled back against Raph, looping one arm around his shell in a tight hug. “Good. Good.”

Raph could feel his father’s eyes on him. But Raph didn’t say anything to him, and he didn’t say anything to Raph. 

Raph hardly moved at all until he felt Mikey’s breathing even out in sleep. He waited until he could feel Mikey’s breathing even out before going back to the phone.

It was easy enough to find another strange occurrence. A localized tremor centered around the Foot Shack. It had apparently caused an evacuation of all the buildings in the area. Considering New York city real estate, that was a clever way for the Foot to expand their headquarters. Raph could guess how exactly that happened. One of his punches set the whole area shaking. They packed a wallop before, but with the armor-

He’d seen how Leo stumbled when he merely grazed his face. He saw how swiftly blood started covering his mask and how quickly Leo’s eye had swollen shut. Raph was temporarily down an eye once. Right after he hit his growth spurt he walked eye first into a corner and had to keep it closed for like a week. Which made that week suck, because a lack of depth vision and the aforementioned growth spurt left Raph constantly knocking into things.

But Leo should be fine. Hopefully it was only a black eye and a bit of a cut. But even if there was a scratch, he was sure Leo would lean into the pirate aesthetic. And then Donnie couldn’t turn down a Jupiter Jim Sails the Seven Galaxies marathon. 

Yeah he’d definitely lean into his injury to control the TV. And honestly Raph wouldn’t mind. He’d watch whatever Leo wanted.

Splinter gently touched Raph’s hand. “Red, what are you reading?”

Raph shook his head, careful not to disturb Mikey.

“Just some news stories. I- I wasn’t aware of a lot when they had me.”

“I see.” Splinter said slowly. “What exactly are you looking for?”

Raph looked from his phone to his father and back.

“What the Shredder did.” He finally admitted. “So far, I’m only finding stuff on theft. Did Shredder ever get around to hurting anybody?”

“He hurt your brother.”

Raph looked away. Focusing on the latch of the van’s door. “I know but-”

“Since our last encounter with the Shredder beast, I have been doing research.” Splinter moved closer to Raph, his thumb gently rubbing over Raph’s knuckles. “The Shredder cannot become fully realized unless the host accepts him. This Shredder was fully realized. So the host, whoever they were, there was no hope for them.” 

Raph swallowed and closed his eyes. No wonder Leo hadn’t told them anything. 

“So, you think the host was bad?”

Splinter fell silent for a moment. “I believe you did the right thing, tearing the Shredder apart. There is not a doubt in my mind.”

“Right. I-” Raph’s voice wavered.

“Do you still feel bad, Red?” Splinter asked, he didn’t wait for Raph’s answer before pulling up another news article. “Because you shouldn’t. This is what the Shredder does to his own. If he was released to the world-”

A man, most likely one of the ninja recruits, was in the hospital in critical condition. They weren’t sure who or what had caused the two parallel slashes and broken bones beneath. They didn’t have any lead as to his attacker. But Raph recognized the footprint of the Shredder armor. He could imagine how it felt when that recuit’s bones broke under his foot. 

He had already felt it when he kicked Leo's leg. He felt Leo’s flesh tear and heard the sicking pop as the bone itself snapped. He saw Leo go down hard. Leo never got back up. 

That injury- 

Leo loved to move, to travel. When he sprained his ankle skateboarding he said it was the longest four weeks of his life. This would take longer to heal. And Leo would hate every second of it. They’d have to watch him closely to make sure he didn’t just start trying to walk on it and set back his healing.

But in the end, he’d be ok. He had to be.

And he wouldn’t blame Raph.

Raph clung to Leo’s serious face, the one he used so very rarely, as he made sure Raph knew that it was the Shredder not him.

Raph was not the Shredder. 

Raph never hurt him.

“Raph?”

He looked up blinking and saw April watching him in the rearview mirror.

“We’re here,” she said softly. 

“Right.” He said.

It was easy to carry a still groggy Mikey out of the van. It was completely dark where they were, save for star light, and the amber glow peeking through drawn curtains. The farmhouse was two stories, and a bit run down, but it had four solid walls and a roof. Raph followed Splinter and April inside, carrying a yawning, but still stubbornly curled against him, Mikey.

He was glad to be here. But he would be even gladder to hear Leo’s voice. It might have been selfish of him, but he wanted confirmation, in the real world, that Leo didn’t blame him. That Leo knew he wasn’t Shredder. But more than that he just wanted to see Leo smile. To hear an insultingly bad pun. To feel a hug.

“Leo! Donnie!” Raph called. “We’re back.”

In front of him April and Splinter froze. In his arms Mikey stared at him with large eyes. From the second story Donnie ran out of a room.

“You didn’t tell him?” Donnie said, voice shaking while he looked down the stairs at them.

“Tell me what?”

Mikey looked from Donnie to Raph to Donnie again. “I thought you told him.”

“I couldn't,” Donnie whispered.

“Tell me what?” Raph asked again, setting Mikey onto his feet.

Mikey barely noticed the movement as he glared at Don. “You couldn’t? You have to.”

Donnie glared back. “You didn’t either.”

Raph looked between the two of them, trying to figure out what they could possibly be- 

Leo. 

No. 

What if he wasn’t mind melding. What if he- 

If he- 

What if Raph was the last stop before he completely-

No.

Raph raced up the stairs and pushed his way into the room Donnie had come out of.

Leo was in the room. He was laying peacefully on a bed, both eyes closed. Raph should have grabbed his sleeping mask, Leo hated sleeping with any lights on and this room was bright.

Maybe he should have also grabbed another blanket. Leo only had a thin sheet on him, and it only covered his body and one leg. His other leg was propped up on pillows and covered in plaster. His arms were on at his sides, laying on top of the sheet. They were covered in thick layers of clean white bandages. One hand connected to an IV drip and monitor in the corner.

You don’t hook the dead up to an IV.

Raph fell to his knees, cupping Leo’s head in his hand. He ignored the rough lines from healing scabs that dug into his still tender hands.

Up close he could see those wounds everywhere. Some were protected by bandages,but most were small and left out, protected only by their scabs. They must have been from the glass shards. When Raph, not Shredder threw Leo through the window. It was to keep Shredder from hurting him more, but still. Raph paused to watch Leo’s chest rise and fall.

“You’re ok.” Raph whispered.

“He’s not.” Donnie stated hollowly. “He’s in a coma.”

Raph looked from Donnie back to Leo’s expressionless face. He felt his jaw quiver. How? How did this happen? Nothing the Shredder did should have done this. He was injured, sure, but he was going to be fine. He was fine before Raph threw him but-

Did Raph really know his strength with the armor? Had he overestimated? Had April moved furniture?

Did this happen, not because of Shredder, but because of Raph?

Raph leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Leo’s. He didn’t bother to hide his tears. 


	3. Revive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just because one is technically able to do something does not mean that doing that thing is a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: Mentioned eye injury. It is a subconjunctival hemorrhage, weird looking but not harmful or painful.

“He’s actually had a moment of lucidity. I mean I don’t think he saw us but he did speak.” Donnie placed his hand on Leo’s plastron, pointedly not looking at Raph even though he sat on the other side of Leo.

“What did he say?”

“‘Save Raph’, over and over until he slipped back into his coma.” Donnie’s hand curled into a fist. “I had hoped that when you arrived, when he heard your voice-”

Donnie sighed and removed his hand from Leo.

“I know it wasn’t very scientific. But I’m out of ideas.” Donnie stood and paced. “I fix machines Raph, not people. I’ve searched everything I can, but I can’t figure out what’s wrong. His blood pressure is stable. No signs of infection, no signs of a traumatic brain injury, and as far as I know he never suffered from a lack of oxygen. There are other things it could be, but I don’t have access to any of the diagnostic devices I’d need to to tell, nor would I have the skills to actually fix it.”

Donnie stopped pacing and leaned on the end of the bed.

“I’m sorry Raph. But- there isn’t anything I can do.”

“Donnie,” Raph stopped himself before pulling him into a hug. “You’ve already done so much. Leo’s stable, he’s alive. You can’t blame yourself for this.”

“Logically I know it’s Shredder’s fault but-” Donnie glanced at Leo and quickly looked away. “I can’t help wondering if maybe things would have gone differently if Mikey and I had been there too. Maybe you wouldn’t have been taken. Maybe Leo wouldn’t have been hurt.”

“And maybe we all would have been hurt. Maybe, without you and Mikey being able to respond as quickly as you did he would have died.” Raph sighed. “Look D, I don’t know what could have been, but I do know that you did your absolute best. And that without you and Mikey where you were, things could have been a lot worse.”

Don released his grip on the edge of the bed. 

“I’m really glad you’re here Raph.” Donnie looked towards Raph. “I don’t suppose you have any bright ideas?”

“Have you tried a mind meld?”

“Sigh. You know the only two of us that have successfully-” Donnie cut himself off, grinning frantically. “Try a mind meld.”

Raph adjusted his position next to Leo. He gently laid one hand over his forehead, the other he held loosely in his lap. Raph closed his eyes and focused on the connection he had made with his brother.

Raph was no longer in the farmhouse. He stood in the middle of the lair. The only sound he heard was the wheels of a skateboard. 

Leo had his shell towards him. He was sitting in the center of the ramp, pushing his skateboard up it and catching it once it rolled back down.

“Hey buddy.”

Leo spun to his feet. His eyes were narrowed, his fists clenched. At least until he caught sight of Raph. A smile blossomed on his face, but it didn’t even last a second before Leo slumped back to the ground.

“Damn,” Leo said softly. “I really thought it would work.” 

Raph sat next to him. “It did. I got the armor off. I’m mind melding with you now.”

“You got out?”

“Yeah.”

“And Mikey, Donnie, April, and Pops?”

“They’re all fine.”

Leo’s grin returned. “Good.”

“We’re all just waiting for you to wake up.”

Leo looked away and let out a long breath. He squeezed his eyes closed and hugged his knees to his plastron.

“I’m sorry.”

Raph put his arm around Leo. “Hey buddy, it’s ok. That’s why I’m here. I’m gonna get you out of here.”

“I can’t, Raph.” 

“Yes you can.”

“No I can’t.” Leo said harshly, voice cracking. “Don’t you think I’ve tried, Raph?"

Raph stood, and held out a hand to Leo. “Well let's try again. Let’s try harder.”

Leo said nothing. Raph waited a moment and then leaned down and scoped Leo up in his arms.

Slowly he walked towards Leo’s room. He could feel Leo shudder in his arms. He could see the wounds reappear on Leo’s skin. Leo pushed against him.

“It’s ok buddy,” Raph said softly. “No need to be scared.”

Leo pressed his forehead against Raph’s plastron. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can. Donnie’s got you on pain medication.” 

“It’s the snakes, Raph. The snakes won’t let me leave.”

Raph paused. He looked into Leo’s room. It was free of the metallic snakes. Last time he had been able to see them. And more importantly, last time Leo had seen the snakes in Raph’s own room. 

Raph took a step forward and then another. Still, the only thing he saw in Leo’s room was Leo’s room.

“The snakes are just in your mind. They’re just an excuse. They’re not real.”

Leo looked to him, to his room, and back to him. He squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped his arms around Raph.

“I can’t.”

“We can.”

Raph walked forward. Leo clung to him, shaking like a leaf.

In the blink of an eye, Raph was back at the farmhouse. He was looking at Leo’s face. Leo’s open eyes stared past him.

Leo gasped. His shoulders rose with the action. He held that breath. And for a moment the entire world seemed frozen.

But that illusion was shattered when he exhaled and forced out three shaking words.

“Raph, I can’t.”

Raph cupped Leo’s head in his hand.

“You can,” He said firmly. “You are.”

Leo’s eyes locked onto Raph’s. His eye ridges furrowed. 

His jaw clenched.

The veins on his neck bulged.

“Come on Leo. You’re doing great. Just breathe.” 

Leo audibly sucked air past his teeth. And each exhale was accompanied by a strained whimper.

The white of one of Leo’s eyes, hidden behind a healing bruise, blossomed with red. Raph could only look for a second before Leo squeezed both his eyes closed.

Beeping sounded from the corner of the room. Donnie raced around Leo.

“I’m right here Leo,” Raph whispered “It’s ok.”

Both of Leo’s hands latched onto the sheet beneath them. His arms tensed and shook. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead.

The fabric he held ripped under his nails.

The rhythm of his breathing sped up in time with the pounding of his heart.

“Leo you can do it. You’re strong. Stay with us.”

Leo’s arms went stiff, his neck arched, pushing his upper carapace off of the bed. 

His entire body shook. 

The formally white bandages around his arms were speckled with slowly growing dots of crimson. 

Tears pooled. His entire face was frozen in a tight grimace.

“Please, Leo, stay with us.”

Leo’s pulse fluttered under Raph’s hand. 

Raph pressed down gently, trying to will the pain, the strain away from Leo.

Leo cracked open his good eye, and focused on the vicinity of Raph.

“-’m sorry.” 

Leo forced the quiet words through his still clenched teeth. 

And with one final exhale, Leo went limp under Raph’s hand. 

His eye rolled back as the eyelid slid closed. His jaw unclenched and went slack. His shell sunk back into the bed. 

His breathing slowly calmed. 

The beeping subsided.

“What happened?” Donnie asked, breathless.

“I used a ninja mind meld to pull him out.” 

“Don’t do it again.” Donnie hissed.

“Why? It almost worked-”

“No it didn’t.” Donnie cut him off. “It almost killed him.”

“What?”

“It almost killed him.” Donnie snapped back.

Raph pressed his hand against Leo’s cheek. He could feel Leo’s steady breaths against his skin. The movement, the life, that Leo had possessed mere moments ago was completely drained, only the steady puffs of breath remained.

“He woke up.” Raph said.

Donnie glared at him. “Well next time you want to wake him up like that, we need to make sure that everyone is here. You know, so that we all have a chance to say goodbye.” 

Raph pulled his hand away from Leo’s head. “What?”

Donnie took two deep breaths. He then picked up Leo’s limp arm and brought it closer to Raph’s face.

“See these Raph?” Donnie asked as he pointed out small red dots on Leo’s skin. “These are called petechiae and they form when capillaries burst under the skin. They have a lot of causes, but these were most definitely from the strain that Leo’s body was under while he was awake.

“His heart rate was through the roof, Raph. Cardiac arrest was a very real possibility if it kept up.”

Donnie gently put Leo’s arm back on top of the sheet.

“So do not do that again.” Donnie said, voice shaking. “Not unless- not unless we...”

Raph held Leo’s hand in his own. He stared at it hard, trying to ignore the tears. Again, he had almost killed his brother. But this time there was no Shredder armor in sight.

His eyes fixed on the petechiae that Don had pointed out. There were lots of tiny dots all over Leo. And they were all grouped into rectangular patterns. 

Raph looked at his own wrist and the fading marks from his own escape. 

They were the same.

“The dark armor,” Raph whispered.

“What?”

“When he fought Shredder he clawed at the armor. Maybe a piece got trapped under his nail. Maybe that’s what’s keeping him trapped. Just like the armor’s host.”

“If he was trapped like the host I’d expect him to have been freed when you tore them apart-” Donnie cut himself off, looking away. “When you tore _the armor_ apart.”

“Well maybe he would have been, but, since he was technically wearing some of it, that didn’t happen.” Raph shrugged. “Something, something, mystic nonsense”.

Donnie sighed and pulled his goggles down. He took the hand of Leo that was closest to himself carefully into his own. He slowly turned it over, inspecting every inch of it, at every angle. Then he set that hand down and repeated the procedure with Leo’s other hand.

“I don't see anything.”

“Look again.”

Donnie pushed his goggles back up. 

“There’s nothing there, Raph.” He said with a sigh, turning to inspect one of Leo’s bandages. “Look you’ve had a long day. Go downstairs, get something to eat, get some sleep. I know you want to fix Leo. We all do but-”

“Donnie-”

Donnie clenched his fists but didn’t look at him. “Raph just go. I need to check his stitches.”

Raph slunk out of the room. He tried to make his footsteps as light as possible as he went down the stairs, but still they felt like they thundered.

They felt like he was running away.

“Raph?”

Raph looked up at Mikey’s voice. It came from the kitchen where he was elbow deep in warm soapy water, washing something in the sink.

“Hey.” Raph said slowly.

“What’s up? I heard-”

“Donnie kicked me out.” 

“Is Leo...”

“He’s-” Raph looked at Mikey watching him with wide watery eyes. “He’s the same.”

“Ok,” Mikey nodded, turning his attention back to the sink.

Raph watched him for a moment. “Want some help?”

“No.” Mikey said quickly. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I just-”

Raph glanced over Mikey’s shoulder, and caught sight of a familiar purple under the water.

“Old Skully?”

“Just cleaning him up.” Mikey said quickly, giving a high pitched laugh. “You know, in case someone wants tea.”

Raph sighed and sat at the table. Mikey looked at him, biting his lip.

“And so I can do this.” Mikey said dramatically, pulling the teapot out of the water and holding it out in front of him.

“Alas poor Shreddy I knew him, Raph,” Mikey glanced at Raph who, despite everything, couldn’t help but grin at his brother’s antics. “A fellow of infinite annoyance and most excellent-”

Mikey tilted his head dramatically. He squeezed and shook the teapot, as if that action would make the word he needed for his soliloquy appear. 

“Uh oh.” Mikey said eyes wide.

“What?”

Mikey slowly turned the teapot around, showing Raph where his finger had pushed through the metal.

“Looks like the flaw is still there. Don’t suppose you happened to pack a Jupiter Jim figure?”

Raph shook his head. “I didn’t.”

“I wonder where that piece went?” Mikey said, watching as the metal crushed under his finger sprung back into place. “Do you think it’s still in the lair? Or did S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. vacuum it up and throw it out?”

“An important question.” Raph said. He looked at the teapot. Totally unblemished from Mikey’s mishandling, except for the missing piece. “Another important question that Raph had not considered until now is ‘why didn’t it completely reform?’”

“You’d have to ask Leo. He was the one that was practically on top of it when it happened.”

Mikey’s grin dropped. A cold tension settled over the room. 

“You know. When he wakes up-.” Mikey’s voice cracked. He turned away from Raph and dunked the teapot into the soapy water with more force than strictly necessary. 

Raph left him to his teapot cleaning, and opened the fridge. He stood and stared at the interior of it. His eyes slid over the tupperware containers and takeout boxes, not lingering on one long enough to comprehend what was inside.

Raph’s stomach clenched. He closed the door. The thought of food wasn’t very appealing at the moment.

He left the kitchen, giving a short wave to Mikey, who nodded in return. 

He was sure that Donnie had rented a house with enough rooms for all of them. But Raph was not in the mood for exploration. Instead he relaxed on the couch in the living room. He laid back, arms behind his head and eyes closed. 

But Raph didn’t sleep. 

The missing piece gnawed at him.

Maybe he could mind meld with Leo again, and ask him. But if the reaction that Leo suffered was from the meld itself and not from entering his room-

No Raph couldn’t risk that.

Besides he was there when the teapot shattered. He just hadn’t run over to it like Leo had. Still he could imagine what had happened.

The pot itself had shattered to a million pieces. Leo was there, trying to reassemble it. The little kid logic being if he could just get all the pieces in the right place before Pops showed up, everything would be fine.

They now knew how Leo's frantic assembly had worked. The Shredder armor itself pulled its pieces back together. And all the shards would have jumped into their proper place with or without Leo there. 

So why had Leo standing there, helping, prevented the pieces from going where they needed to go? 

Unless.

A foot had thwarted the Foot.

He raced back up the stairs to Leo’s room.

“Raph, please not now.” Donnie said, without looking up, the second he entered Leo’s room.

“Donnie just check his feet, please. If he stood on top of the missing piece-”

“Enough.”

“No listen. Remember when we were kids and broke the helmet? Leo was closest. He could have stepped on a piece. And if he did it could have been pulled into his foot, which is why the helmet was never able to fully reform.”

Donnie methodically finished rewrapping a bandage on Leo’s arm. Once he finished he spoke in a clipped tone. “Why are you so focused on the dark armor theory?”

“Just check.”

“Not tonight,” Donnie said firmly. “Believe me, I want to try everything Raph, no matter how hairbrained. But it has been a long day, so unless you have some reason to think that this has a greater probability to work than any of the other dozen things we’ve tried today, let’s just put that idea on the to do list.”

Raph took a breath. He did have proof. But that would mean revealing everything about his involvement with the armor. If he did that, Donnie, the rest of his family might never forgive him. He could just wait a few hours, let Donnie get something to eat, get some sleep, and encourage him to put Raph’s idea at the top of the to do list.

That would be the best thing to do for Raph.

But that would be more time leaving Leo trapped. More time for more mystic nonsense to occur. Besides Leo had looked so worn during the mind meld. Raph wasn’t going to let his brother suffer just to keep a secret. No matter how bad the repercussions could be. He was family. Family came first.

“He was with me.”

Donnie looked at him. “What?”

“When the Foot had me- when I was trapped in the dark armor.” Raph admitted softly.

“You...” Donnie trailed off.

“Yes.” Raph said, breaking the silence and staring at his hand. “And Leo was there the whole time. He thought we had mind melded. But I think he was wrong. Because when I melded with him I couldn’t see or touch the snakes. But Leo could. That’s how he fought them long enough for me to get out. For me to rip off the armor.”

Raph waited in silence for Donnie’s response. But it never came. When Raph looked up Donnie was crouched over Leo’s foot, the one propped up by pillows, goggles down and shaking.

“I found the missing piece.” Donnie said, his voice barely audible.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” Donnie was already moving. “I don’t know if getting it out will wake him up. But there is a chance. And the risk isn’t that high. Raph, stay with him. I need to get some supplies.”

Raph positioned himself by Leo’s side. He covered Leo’s hand in his own and waited. He really hoped this worked. 

Donnie returned quickly. He was wearing his spider shell and holding it’s limbs as well as his own hands, stiffly in front of his face. His goggles were down, and he was holding an alcohol pad in one hand. His spider shell was holding bandages, a threaded needle, scalpel and tweezers.

Raph shifted. But before he could stand to help Donnie, Donnie glared at him. He could tell his eyes were narrowed behind his goggles based on the way Don’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Stay right there.”

Raph did as he was told.

He was glad that Donnie had not kicked him out of the room. Raph really wanted to be here, to see Leo wake up, if Leo woke up. Pizza supreme, he really hoped he was right. If he had to go his whole life without knowing, or without being able to say goodbye-

Raph heard a soft guttural whine. It sounded far away. Raph balled his free hand.

Donnie meant well, but he wasn’t the actor that Leo or Pops were. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn’t be able to keep Raph’s secret forever. They knew that the host had accepted the armor. And when they knew that Raph was the host-

Raph heard the slight rustle of fabric. He looked down at Leo’s hand clutching his own.

Not that Raph would blame them. He ran his thumb over the zig zags of scabs left by glass and the small red dots that covered Leo’s skin. He did that-

Donnie yelped, grabbing Raph’s full attention. He staggered back from the foot of the bed holding his beak in his hands. He looked down at them and cursed.

“I need to sterilize again.” Donnie hissed. “Raph, don’t let him touch his foot until I finish stitching it.”

Donnie raced out of the room. Raph blinked and watched him leave. It was only after the room went silent that he realized that he could feel Leo’s hand moving. Leo was squirming, like he was trying to put distance between himself and the end of the bed. But his movements were so painfully weak.

“Hey buddy, hey,” Raph said, softly running his fingers across Leo’s cheek. “It’s ok, you’re ok.”

Both of Leo’s eyes cracked open to look at Raph. One eye looked normal, but the other, still partially hidden behind the fading bruise, was bright red where it should have been white.

“‘m sorry.” Leo’s voice was hoarse, and scratchy, but it didn’t sound strained. 

Raph grinned. “Donnie’s not going to mind that you kicked him in the face. Promise”

Leo didn’t seem to hear him.

“I couldn’t.” He said, pausing to take a slow shaky breath. “I tried. But I couldn’t. I can't.”

Raph cupped Leo’s face in his hand. Donnie raced back into the room, hands raised again. Two of his spider legs clamped over Leo’s unbroken leg.

“Hey Leo, I’m really sorry about this. But I need to finish closing it up, ok?”

Leo didn’t acknowledge what Donnie said.

“Raph,” he breathed. “I tried. I swear, I tried. But I couldn’t. I’m sorry. I’m not strong enough.”

Leo squeezed his eyes shut. Raph could feel him flinch with each suture.

“No Leo, I’m sorry. I-” Raph took a deep breath and squeezed his hand. “You were in an impossible situation. I should have listened. What was holding you back was very real. And we had to deal with it instead of trying to just wish it away.”

Leo looked at Raph, his eyes watery.

“I want to go home.”

“I know.” Raph said softly. “But that’s a bit hard to do at the moment.”

Leo pressed his head into Raph’s hand. “I want to see everyone.”

Raph grinned. “That, that we can do.”

“I never learned how to mind meld with anyone else.” Leo said, lip trembling. “But maybe you could. And once you did, maybe you could then bring them along?”

Raph tilted his head and looked at Leo. 

“Where do you think you are?” He asked slowly.

Leo blinked. But before he could answer, Don shouted ‘done’ triumphantly from the end of the bed.

“Donnie?”

Donnie pushed his goggles back and rubbed tears from his eyes.

“Hey Leo. You gave us quite the scare.”

Donnie walked towards the head of the bed. Pausing briefly to check on a few devices before sitting at Leo’s free side and holding his hand.

“I- I don’t-” Leo’s eyes darted around the room. “Where?”

“A farmhouse in Northampton.” Donnie explained, still blinking rapidly. “It turns out the missing piece of the dark armor was embedded in your foot.” 

“So when I got trapped you got trapped.” Raph cut in. “However the armor on you was a bit harder to find and rip off than mine. Especially in the limited surface time we could give each other.”

Donnie's eyes went wide. 

“Of course, that explains it. According to the scrolls that Pops found, there are only two ways to remove the armor. Either a fully realized host starts the process by removing a piece themselves, or the armor is pulled off of a host's dead body. The trick is that a fully realized host is placed within a mystic trap, which makes it impossible for them to escape long enough to start the process. But apparently the designer of the trap didn’t account for two people working together.”

Donnie paused just long enough to take a breath. 

“So we definitely need to keep the piece separated. And hidden. Maybe Mikey can sculpt a copy and place it in the flaw. Then we keep the helmet and the piece as far apart as possible. I can put the piece in several layers of concrete or resin and-”

“Donnie.” Raph cut him off. “First things first. We should probably get everyone else here.”

“Oh, right.” 

Donnie tried to stand but Leo was still gripping his hand. Donnie didn’t try to pull free. Instead he grabbed his phone, typed a short message, and went back to looking at Leo.

Raph and Leo’s phones buzzed at the same time. Raph read the single line that Donnie sent to the group text.

_Leo's room now_

When this was over someone needed to have a conversation about unnecessarily worrying texts with Donnie.

“My sons.” Splinter’s voice was soft as he slowly entered the room.

Before Raph could explain the misunderstanding, Leo spoke.

“Dad?”

“Blue?” His voice cracked as Splinter rushed to Leo’s side. “My Blue.”

Raph saw him go in for a hug and hesitate. His eyes ran over Leo’s entire body, hesitating on each and every bandage. He glanced at each of Leo’s hands. One held by Donnie and the other held by Raph. Splinter approached Leo’s head and pressed his hand against it. Leo lent into the touch, his eyes half lidded.

Tears slowly gathered and spilled down Leo’s cheek. His breathing hitched. 

He attempted to pull his shoulder towards Splinter’s hand. But he froze halfway through the motion with a strangled cry.

Splinter placed his other hand on Leo’s shoulder, leaving the one against Leo’s head pressed there. Leo nuzzled his head against his father’s hand, as if he was trying to bury himself in the comfort the touch offered.

Raph had to look away. It hurt to see Leo hurting.

It hurt even worse to know that he had caused it.

Raph tried to pull his hand away. However the second he moved Leo squeezed so hard Raph could feel his arm shake. Raph stopped trying to move, and placed his other hand over Leo’s. Leo’s frantic grip relaxed, but he did not let go.

Raph took a breath, but was distracted from trying again by the sound of shuffling. When he turned towards the noise he saw Mikey and April both standing at the door. Mikey’s orange mask was darkened with tears, April had her arm protectively draped over his shell.

Even though Raph knew he couldn’t be the one to do it. Someone definitely needed to have a talk with Donnie.

“Hey,” Raph said, “Mikey and April are here.”

Leo tried to shift, however Splinter’s firm hand stopped his movement. So instead he settled for using his voice.

“Hey.” 

Mikey blinked hard. April dropped her arm.

Raph again attempted to pull his hand away from Leo’s. And again Leo simply squeezed harder.

“Leo,” Raph said gently “You only have two hands and Mikey has been waiting.”

Slowly, and after one additional squeeze, Leo let go of Raph’s hand. Raph took a step back. Mikey rushed in to take his place, both of his hands clutching Leo’s.

Raph, as slowly and as silently as he could, slipped out of the room. However the second he reached the hallway he felt a hand on his elbow. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Raph looked back at April, who was watching him intensely.

“Donnie knows about the armor, that I-”

Raph swallowed harshly. Pizza supreme in the sky, he didn’t want to watch everyone he loved lose faith in him.

April narrowed her eyes.

“He said something didn’t he?” She asked, but didn’t wait long enough to get a response. “I knew it. Look, Raph, the fight Splints, Mikey, and I were planning- It was different from what you had to do. We had time to strategize, we had numbers, we had the element of surprise. You were trapped, you didn’t have options, and you didn’t have the intel we did.”

“But still what I did was-”

“Raph, you didn’t know that the host could be innocent. That they could be tricked into accepting the Shredder. You didn’t know that if you could somehow trick Shredder into removing at least one piece on his own, you could remove the armor without hurting the host.” April looked firmly into his eyes. “None of us hold that against you. Ok? Whatever happened to the host, that was the fault of the Foot, not you. Never you. Understand?”

“Wait.” Raph said, holding up a hand and blinking. “You don’t want me blaming myself for the death of the host. Whom all of you assume was innocent and tricked?”

April nodded. “If it makes you feel better, Splints only gave it an 80 percent chance that the host was innocent. He couldn’t rule out the fact that one of their own might want to willingly do it for the honor.”

“Oh.” Raph sat against the wall, a tension he didn’t know that he had been carrying leaving his body

April sat next to him.

“So,” Raph asked slowly. “You know that a fully realized Shredder doesn’t mean that the host was weak, or wanted the Shredder. That they could have just been forced into accepting?”

“Yeah,” April nodded slowly. “The example Splints used was a ‘say yes and your child gets to live.’”

“Or perhaps a ‘say yes and your brother gets to live.’” Raph whispered softly.

April turned to him, wide eyed. “Raph, you?”

Raph nodded. April leapt to her feet. 

“Stay right here, I’m gonna- nevermind. Here he comes.” 

He felt the warm embrace of his father.

“My son I-” His voice wavered.

“Yeah,” Raph whispered. “April told me.”

“And Purple just told me. I am so sorry, my son, what I said- It was not what you needed to hear after you pulled off an impossible escape.”

“So you don’t blame me for-”

“Never my son.” Splinter said firmly. “I am so proud of you.”

“Thanks Dad.”

Raph let himself lean into his father’s hug. He remained there until all of their phones buzzed, with another Donnie group text.

_Get water_

Raph pulled himself up, however before he could head down to the kitchen April pushed a plastic cup into his hand.

“So he doesn’t realize that you just tried to leave over a misunderstanding,” she whispered. 

Raph nodded and took the cup. He entered the room, Splinter and April following close behind him.

He placed himself next to Leo, gently lifting him into a sitting position. Leo couldn’t support himself, but Raph gladly let him lean on his plastron. Splinter held the cup for Leo. He drank slowly and cautiously, but he finished the water. Leo let his eyes close, and leaned his head back against Raph, who gently lowered him back onto the bed.

When Raph looked around, April had taken Donnie’s position holding Leo's hand. And Donnie was holding a small plastic bag containing a shard of bloody metal.

“While we’re all here, there is one more pressing concern that we need to address. What are we going to do with this piece? As we absolutely cannot let it reconnect with the teapot downstairs.”

Mikey raised a hand. “I vote we drop it into the deepest cave in the world.”

April nodded in agreement. “Or the deepest ocean.”

“Or perhaps,” Splinter cut in, “An active volcano?”

“I see all of your suggestions,” Donnie said, “And raise you ‘on a rocket ship heading to space.’”

Raph looked around. “I don’t know guys. If we keep it, it might be a good way to reach a future host. You know, if someone else gets possessed? However, I think the final vote needs to go to Leo. He’s the one with the portal sword, and he’s the one that’s freed a host. Unfortunately right now he-”

“All of the above,” Leo mumbled, his eyes remaining closed.

“Which would work if we had five shards,” Donnie said. “However we only have one.”

Leo cracked an eye open. 

“But you said that we have the teapot downstairs.” Leo mumbled, giving a slight grin. “And with the teapot, Raph, and a wall. I’m pretty sure we can make more shards.”

“I am great at smashing things.” Raph said, smiling as he looked down at his brother. “I think we’ll go with plan ‘all of the above.’”


End file.
